Waggafish-protecting swans on The Island's only
lake.
The Citadel was an interesting building, its
history both colourful and dark. Originally there’d been a tower, a broad
verandah and various outhouses. In the 1950s the tower collapsed, and in the
60's two outhouses burned down when an experiment in brewing opium-based cough
drops failed. The walls were local sandstone and all the beams were crafted
from the tall turpentine trees that once grew in the area. There was even a
chapel with stained glass windows depicting holy scenes, fishermen hauling in
their nets, and the centre-piece: a figure, presumably St Peter, holding up a
red-fish.
All this was before the massive renovations that
were undertaken after an anonymous person, some say an American, poured vast
sums of money into the Waggafish Research Program. WRP. The plans were
kept secret, the local council bribed, and the design was said to be the work
of Frank Gehry (with advice on the WRP’s requirements taken from Ayn Rand.) The
original owners were the Darrel Leighway family, the nationally famous
candy-makers, who formed a company to make and market the Black Drops in
Tasmania. These days, especially at night, one can hear, even from the beach, a
mechanical pecking noise and strange thudding sounds. There were local rumours
of a private zoo, and the residents at Church Point swear the noise comes from
deep within the Citadel.
Many stories had been told about The Island and
its curious inhabitants. That it was a CSIRO Ocean Breeding Facility was widely
accepted. Though other stories began to circulate. One involved a description
of a woman with wild flowing white hair dressed in a red velvet gown. Some say
she could be seen at night on a full moon at the window below the new
needle-shaped glass tower, letting down a massive white rope onto the lawn. Blodgett
claims he was this woman’s driver, and when questioned, told a reporter
who had travelled in from Edmonton, Canada, that the woman was an incarnation
of Alice. When questioned further, he said: "Seek her not in the valleys
of excess, but where the falcon rides her outstretched hand." In the
trees next to the citadel there were once thousands of flying foxes that would
hang upside down all day, then just on twilight would take off, stroking their
way in a great airborne squadron heading for fruit trees in the gardens and
orchards from the mountains to the sea. Late at night, this red-cloaked woman
could sometimes be seen and heard, reading poetry to the moon in the absence of
bats. Nothing was known for certain. Information was a brew of gossip and
half-baked press reports and a few letters that surfaced in the
National Library mentioning dark Island occurrences. Was it a product of the
terror-tactics produced by WRP itself, or did it all add up to something more
than rumour? According to Blodgett it was all based on a lost poem by Alan
Wearne and Ken Bolton, a long rambling post-modern ballad without a central
story or any real persona. The poem had a deep, insistent drone that produced
hallucinations when read aloud. The subject of the poem was the
denial of the existence of Waggas.
What the locals don't know, is that deep below
the Red Bunker, a non-descript building outside the citadel, is the new Aquatic
Cellar - the heartbeat of The Island's secret activities. Everything in the
Waggafish Research Program is state of the art: four 10,000 litre stainless
steel tanks house younger fish ranging from fingerlings to specimens up to
three years old. Three 80,000 litre enclosures contain the adult Waggafish.
These tanks are covered by transparent kevlar screens due to the violent manner
in which the Waggas feed. In the early days of The Island's breeding
program, two scientists were dragged in and mauled to death.The tanks are
filled with temperature-controlled brackish water fed through live carbon-fibre
pipes. Special aerators imported from Sweden keep the water oxygenated to
simulate an exposed ocean reef. Waggafish are fed only at night, when the fish
are most active and ravenous. Fingerlings - pink, slender fish - are given a
timer-regulated mix of pellets made from blood and bone. Large adult fish are
supplied with the hearts of bullocks and water buffalo, and when these are in
short supply, wild boar and kangaroo meat shot by unlicensed sportsmen. As the
adult fish are being fed, Lou Reed's Metal Machine Music plays
at a deafening volume through wall-mounted B&W speakers. In Japan, this
music is played in the many Red Bars, where raw Wagga meat has taken over from
Fugu - the deadly puffer fish - as the prized seafood. Throughout the Aquatic
Centre, large posters showing Waggafish attacking red-coated scientists cover
the walls. Those who work in the undergound breeding facility must go through
extensive, harrowing "training". Workers are subjected to such things
as sleep-deprivation and swimming in known bull shark territory with fresh
lacerations to the arms and thighs. The main reason Waggafish are kept in the
RWP well into adulthood is that by this time they have become completely
insane, and they patrol the tanks with murderous intent. Release takes place
via a remote-control sluice-gate which leads to a massive pipe that surfaces in
Broken Bay. The sound of huge Waggas being released has long been mistaken for
inconsolable grief and rage, arriving downwind from the local Psychiatric
hospital.
Well before the poets arrived on The Island, Blodgett
had consulted a leading Australian engineer and organised a team of workers -
red-necked youths from Bundaberg - whom he supplied with hip flasks of
rum and haversacks of zest in case of a red attack, to construct a moat around
the base of the citadel. These angry young men were once live-bait suppliers,
but were now out of work because of Steve Starling's rubber bait Squidgies.
There is hardy any call for live bait suppliers now because the live-bait men
catch their own.
Digging the moat was a massive undertaking, and
could only take place in the dead of night, when Metal Machine Music
was being played during feeding times. The workers would wear the same halogen
head-lanterns they once wore while live-baiting from the rocks. It was
at these times that one of the young discontents would patrol the moat in an
old Shelby Mustang without a muffler that sounded like a machine gun when it
accelerated. On hearing of the Mustang, William S. Burroughs insisted on being
given the keys. Being a lover of this kind of rude noise, he spent hours
roaring back and forth, throwing great clods of earth and leering from the
window, a cigarette hanging from the side of his grin.
To disguise the moat, workers placed a thin
veneer of kevlar, earth and grass over the channel, which was strong enough to
withstand the pressure of anyone walking over it. Finally they set charges at
hundreds of intervals alongside the moat, in readiness for when Blodgett would
hit the switch, setting off the explosions and exposing the water and its
vicious, red inhabitants. The moat's exit point, near the wharf, had been
blocked and set with charges. The other young thugs would often practice stoning the
crested doves that pecked for seed around the moat. Whenever they'd knock one
out, they'd cheer and pounce on the wretched bird, then take it to the only
access point to the water in the moat - a red hatch - which they'd lift,
throwing the crestfallen bird into a boil of red water as the Waggas tore it
apart. Once, when Blodgett had witnessed the end of one of these episodes he
shuddered, as he used to write sonnets wherein crested pigeons pecked
adjectives to death in the dead of a Canadian night. Blodgett grabbed the
rednecked youth responsible and head-butted him with once precise jab of that
broad forehead, his great height adding to the swing of his neck. The sound of
the two heads coming together was sickening. The youth tumbled into the open
hatch and was instantly engulfed. ‘Goddamn good burley’ Blodgett told Dr Greene on
his red cell phone. Blodgett was playing Greene, and had convinced him that
he had converted to Waggaism.
The last thing worth reporting here occurred in
the late afternoon. Just on twilight there was a disturbance on the beach. A
green helicopter was hovering above the wharf, looking for a suitable landing
spot. Seagulls wheeled around, then scattered out onto the bay where a school
of whitebait, escaping marauding Waggas, rippled like a circle of heavy rain
and disappeared. The helicopter landed. All eyes were on the door as the
apparatus that lowered the stairs hummed and zipped until the ladder reached
the ground. The door opened and Devin Johnston appeared, escorting the great
Irish poet W.B. Yeats. They were both dressed in cream suits and Panama hats.
Devin had connections in Dublin and had arranged for WB to come to the Island. Yeats
walked straight up to a group of young poets who’d been mesmerized by the
sudden appearance of the helicopter. "This is where we draw the
line," Willy said. "Take me to Shelby and Frederick Seidel. I want
them to know the consequences of their continuing loyalty to the Red K." Then
Yeats straightened to his full height, adjusted his sunglasses, and concluded:
"Their red days are numbered." Devin winced, knowing the implications
of these measured words.
K. Slessor, the Front
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