Dear Mr Lawrence,
My name is George Ducker, I reviewed the new book by Frederick Seidel in the Guardian and from the day that issue hit the coffee tables my life has not been the same. I received an email from Steve Starling who told me that Robert Adamson suggested I should write to you for advice.
Do you know of a character called the Red K? He has been sending me letters threatening court for promoting dear old Seidel. This Red K fellow says that Seidel is the enemy of all living things, that he is in fact a predator, a man of blood and terror, a fiend. We know this is nonsense but threats to ban me from the Perth Festival continue, and they seem to be the product of a disturbed mind. Do you have any advice?
My advice is this: please write to Steve Starling at Fishing World and quote the following, word for word. "Rowley Shoals. Red K. Atoll. Need assistance." You will be notified as to the next step in due course.